Teetering on the Edge...

...and I'm not ready to jump!

My "Whatcha Wanna Know Wednesday" is that I am teetering on the edge of the big 4-0 and I'm not ready to take that leap. I can't even say the word... "foooorrrr" ... "ffffooorrrtt" ... I can't make my mouth form that word without my lips quivering and tears welling up in my eyes. I'm not ready to be that age. I like checking the box on paperwork that says "35 - 39". I am not ready to move up a box. No! I can't do it! I refuse to check the "40-44" box.

I didn't have this much trouble turning 30. I liked my 30's...I loved my 30's...great things happened in my thirties. It's such a great decade in life, they even made a show about it. "Thirtysomething"...I loved that show. The other number seemed so far away and sounded so old. Think about it, more than half my life is over. When you're...that number...it seems you should have it all together. I have always heard it's harder to lose weight, your metabolism slows almost to a hault, look for symptoms of peri-menopause... I remember turning 39 and thinking, "okay, I've got a year to lose weight". WHERE DID THAT YEAR GO? No weight lost yet. Do you realize in 9 more years I'll be on the verge of turning 50?! I can't even catch my breath at the thought of it.

My friend, Liz, invited me to lunch today at one of my favorite places and when I showed up, she had a whole group of friends and co-workers there to surprise me. She's so sweet. She's been lecturing me on the alternative to turning...that number. I know she's right...it will just take a while to get used to saying it..."ffforrrttt..." ...nope, still not ready. So, tomorrow is the big day. I'll be working at the school all day helping out in the office (hopefully will take my mind off the day!) and am going to lunch with my friend, Jackie. She's beautiful, she's fit, and she's in her...okay, I won't say in case she reads this! No, I will say, she should be proud! She's in her 50's and she looks absolutely fabulous! So, maybe she will inspire me that there is hope for me yet.

Off to enjoy my final evening of being 39.......and holding.

2 sweet friends had to say...:

Di-dan said...

Tracey, you have NOTHING to worry about! I struggled from about 37-40, but once I turned 40, that was a fabulous birthday and I have not looked back...and I've been here 4 and a half years now! I can truthfully say these have been some of the best years of my life. What really makes ME feel old is that Kate turned 12 today! You will be fine though...just follow those of us who are already there! You'll be in good company! I hope you have a GREAT day...I love you and I thank you for being my friend. You'll be fine. Don't worry! :-)

chrome dome said...

First of all sweetie, you're a great writer! Your blogs make me laugh and sometimes cry. Secondly, I want you to know that I love you more with each passing day. You're my best friend, my confidant and my support. You are beautiful both inside and out and turning 40 (oops, I said it) is only going to make you better. I love you and I pray that you will have the happiest of birthdays.

 
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