Sleepless in Montgomery

I'm still here. Thanks for checking on me. We got back late Monday night from Orlando. I've had a pretty rough week. I'm feeling sad and like a fish out of water. I don't know how to stop being a mom after almost 18 years of "mama-ing" ;-) The house is quiet without him here and I feel lonely. I will update with some pictures soon...but right now I don't feel like doing much of anything. I can't sleep and have little motivation to complete any tasks. I know it will all be okay, but right now I'm having a hard time adjusting. Just say a prayer when you think of me and check back soon! Love y'all.

Mine says "panic"

I love those Staples commercials where they show someone trying to do something the hard way and then they show an "easy" button, which implies your experience with Staples. Right now I wish I had an "easy" button. What I'm feeling would be more appropriately described as the panic button!

So much has been going on these past few weeks since graduation. Some day when I don't feel so overwhelmed, I'll post pictures and details. Right now, I'm less than 2 days away from taking Zack to college and the very thought takes my breath away.

I don't know how to prepare for it. We've purchased things for his dorm room, bought supplies in the form of laundry stuff, toiletries, medicines for a make-shift "First Aid" kit, etc., but I still feel that inner panic that I'm forgetting something vital to his very existence---which interpreted would be the level of comfort in which he has been living these past 17 years.

Being his mom describes who I am.

Hello, who are you and what do you do?

I'm Zack's mom, his caregiver, his provider, his protector, his safety net. What I'm feeling right now can best be described as watching him climb up a rope ladder and stepping out on the high wire for the first time with no safety net. There are butterflies in my stomach, a sense of panic that almost takes my breath and the fear and uncertainty of if he's going to make it.

[Sidenote: have I ever mentioned that I battle gripping fear? I am such a control freak and feel like if I can just keep a handle on things, keep control of things, then I can control the fear. When I feel things are beyond my control, I really struggle with overwhelming fear. But holy cow! that's a discussion for another day---laying on a sofa with a therapist!] Edited to add: I would be on the sofa...the therapist would be in a chair!!

As I sit here, a day and a half before heading to FL, I can't decide what to do next. I can't think of simple words. I can't make lists and plan and organize, which I usually do so well. I can't steady this uneasy feeling. I can't imagine continuing to function in my household without my sweet child here every day. So for now, I will paste on the smile and share in his excitement, but rest assured the ride home won't be fun.

You'll keep going back for more...

I have to share my newest all time favorite blog entitled "Stuff Christians Like". It absolutely CRACKS ME UP (come on, we have to be able to laugh at ourselves!). Go here and check it out. I promise you, you'll keep going back for more!

Summer Bible Study

I was perusing the L.P.M. blog when I noticed they are beginning a new study series entitled "No Other Gods" by Kelly Minter. I saw a video on YouTube that has made me really think long and hard about what "gods" are priority in my life. There are so many things hindering my worship. My heart has formed a hard shell around it and I want to break thru it before it hardens like cement. My spiritual walk is not where it once was and certainly not where it should be. I've dug my heels in and held the Holy Spirit's conviction at arm's length. I am going to commit to this study and I pray that I will allow the Lord to renew my first love.

Anyone interested in joining me with this study? I don't know that I will be able to have the accountability for every Tuesday on Beth's site, but I'm going to do my best to keep up. If you want to know more about it, head on over to the Living Proof Ministries web site and read up.

Click here for the video from YouTube. Quite a powerful song...

How do you eat an elephant?

...one bite at a time! I have had so much going on these past few weeks and so many pictures to post, that I'm going to have to do it just a little bit at a time. I was gonna say "sorry" for not posting in so long, but actually I'm not...cause I've been doing what I need to do and that is focusing on this extremely happy time in Zack's life and our lives. We are so proud of him and all that he has accomplished and all that is on the horizon for him. We have been very busy getting him ready to leave for college in two-and-a-half weeks...but who's counting, right?! After he's gone, I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to blog!

I'll try to post over the next few weeks the photos from the events as they happened. For starters, here are prom pictures from May 10th...

I think all photos are "clickable" and will enlarge!

Because I'm on staff at the school, we went to the banquet. Can't beat a free meal, right?!

Here's a picture of Zack and his girlfriend, Christi

full length shot...

This next one is my absolute favorite! I was instructing them on what to do and you should have heard Zack "jawing" all the way over to the other side of the reflecting pond about how stupid this was! I said, "just do it! It will be awesome!" I loved it so much, I had it blown up! Everyone that has seen it said it looks like a picture out of a magazine.

Here is Zack with some of his friends...(Daniel and Emily)

Check out the grin on Zack's face! This is him with two of his favorite teachers! The one on the left was his Bible teacher and the one on the right was his Government teacher. Just before the picture she said, "hey! This might be worth something someday! We could be taking a picture with a future president!"...and check out Zack's grin!

That's all for now. I'll be back with pictures from the end-of-the-year band concert, the end-of-the-year band banquet, graduation, and orientation at UCF. Hope all is well with all my chickies out there! I miss checking in on you!