Happy New Year!

The gifts have all been opened and much food has been consumed and it's time to wrap up the holiday season. Weighing heavily on my mind this 2008, is the fact that my baby will be going off to college in about 5 months. I can remember when he was younger and he would say "I'm going to be the 'Class of 2008' "...how awfully far away that seemed! And now here it is. I'm standing at the edge of a cliff with my baby bird in hand, ready to gently toss him in the air to see if he will fly.

But the fact is, I'm not ready to let him fly. It's not a fear of if he will fail or succeed, because I believe he will succeed. He has succeeded in everything he has put his mind to. Some of the fear is in the unanswered questions of have I taught him enough? Is he grounded enough in the truth of God's Word not to be swayed by anything or anyone he may encounter at college? Has he been schooled in how to be a proper gentleman in matters of the opposite sex? Has he been taught the difference between right and wrong, and also the consequences of making wrong choices? Is he considering what the Lord would have him to do in the career path he may choose?

I've tried to guide without smothering. I've tried to encourage without pushing. Above all else, I've tried to love without condition. Does he understand and recognize these things or is he secretly so eager to get out on his own that he's counting down the days? The countdown. It's like a black cloud that looms over me as night falls too quickly on the rising sun.

A mom. It's who I am. I'm Zack's mom. Even though I consider myself to be a career professional, my first priority and greatest love has been being a mother. Without that, who am I? Without the need for checking his temperature and doctoring him when he's sick, or cooking him one of his favorite meals when he's hungry, or praising him on a job well done, or telling him I love him before retiring for the evening...in the absence of all of those things, who am I?

Here's what I hope he knows I am---I'm his biggest fan. I'm his constant encourager, his sounding board, his cheerleader, his advisor, but most importantly, as he spreads his wings and flies away, I hope he knows that I am and will always be his safety net.