Happy New Year!

The gifts have all been opened and much food has been consumed and it's time to wrap up the holiday season. Weighing heavily on my mind this 2008, is the fact that my baby will be going off to college in about 5 months. I can remember when he was younger and he would say "I'm going to be the 'Class of 2008' "...how awfully far away that seemed! And now here it is. I'm standing at the edge of a cliff with my baby bird in hand, ready to gently toss him in the air to see if he will fly.

But the fact is, I'm not ready to let him fly. It's not a fear of if he will fail or succeed, because I believe he will succeed. He has succeeded in everything he has put his mind to. Some of the fear is in the unanswered questions of have I taught him enough? Is he grounded enough in the truth of God's Word not to be swayed by anything or anyone he may encounter at college? Has he been schooled in how to be a proper gentleman in matters of the opposite sex? Has he been taught the difference between right and wrong, and also the consequences of making wrong choices? Is he considering what the Lord would have him to do in the career path he may choose?

I've tried to guide without smothering. I've tried to encourage without pushing. Above all else, I've tried to love without condition. Does he understand and recognize these things or is he secretly so eager to get out on his own that he's counting down the days? The countdown. It's like a black cloud that looms over me as night falls too quickly on the rising sun.

A mom. It's who I am. I'm Zack's mom. Even though I consider myself to be a career professional, my first priority and greatest love has been being a mother. Without that, who am I? Without the need for checking his temperature and doctoring him when he's sick, or cooking him one of his favorite meals when he's hungry, or praising him on a job well done, or telling him I love him before retiring for the evening...in the absence of all of those things, who am I?

Here's what I hope he knows I am---I'm his biggest fan. I'm his constant encourager, his sounding board, his cheerleader, his advisor, but most importantly, as he spreads his wings and flies away, I hope he knows that I am and will always be his safety net.

15 sweet friends had to say...:

Lynne said...

Tracey - Zach is going to be just fine. It's hard to let them go, but you just have to have faith in them and believe that they have learned all the lessons you have taught. I'm sure that he sees you and Gary as great examples. Zach seems like a very level headed young man and he'll do you proud! And I'm sure he knows that you'll always be there for him.

I'm just hoping that Shelby will do as well. She's had a rough life and these past months with us have been about the only real stability in her life. I hope it's been enough.

Happy New Year!

Joy said...

Tracey - love your new blog page. It's kewl :) I've been where you are. Three years from it ... I did/thought the same things you do. You can rest knowing you have done those things for Zach. You've done your best under the Lord and now you get to watch him soar and emerge into this wonderful college-aged young man. You will be even more proud of him. There is comfort in knowing you've done your job as best you could under the Lord. Watch him, enjoy him and YES, he will always know you are his safety net. Enjoyed our night this week. Whatever shall we do next?!?


Tonja said...

Hi Tracey,
So glad to hear from you. I thought you had hibernated till Spring! It's freezing here today...is it as cold in Montgomery? Don't you worry about Zac. He's going to be fine. Yes, you have taught him enough. And, he's learned by watching also. You've taught him how to live by seeing how you and your hbby live. And, remember, if he doesn't try out these lessons in his own experiences...how is he going to know they will work for him too. It is only when he is faced with the decisions and the choices...on his own...that he learns to make the right ones. And, be prepared...he may not always make the right ones, but, he'll realize that soon enough. The hardest lessons he will learn will be those he has to do over because he did it wrong the first time. We want our men to be the type of man God will be proud of...and us as well. And, they will be. The main thing is that they know they have a support system ALWAYS to call on. It really is exciting to watch them on this new road of independence.

No, there really is not a Bush Mountain....but the Bushes own about 1/2 of the land in Abbeville,AL. This area is all wooded but alot of the Bushes live along the Country Road that runs through it. My niece married Will Bush, and they just bought this house one of his cousins built a few years ago. It's not a mountain, but a big hill...Pop started calling it Bush Mountain...and it stuck. It is a beautiful place, though. Do you know where Abbeville is? Between Dothan and Eufalla..about 40 minutes from here.

Good to talk to you again. Hope 2008 is the best ever!

justabeachkat said...

Hi there! I've missed you.

I like your new look, although it was kinda shocking when I first opened your blog page. Kinda busy and bright at first, but I really like it.

I've been in your shoes so I know what you're going through. Having met Zach, I know what a fine young man he is. I really don't think you have anything to worry about. I know...easier said than done. At some point, we just have to let them "fly" and then stand back and watch the beauty of it all.

Hugs sweet friend!

chrome dome said...

I like the new look hon! I'm confident that you have raised a fine young man, ready to take on the world. It will be fun to see what exciting things lie ahead for him.
I love you.

Penless Thoughts said...

God's Word never fails. Aren't we, as mothers, so thankful for that?

Happy New Year.

Jennifer said...

Awww, Tracey. What a mom you are!!! Proverbs 22:6 promises...Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

You've trained him up, Tracey in the way he should go. Zach isn't perfect and he may mess up, but he will never stray too far from the love of God and the Word you have instilled in him.

Musicaljean said...

So, so good to hear from you, Tracey! What a beautiful post. For three weeks before Lisa (our first born) left for college, I think I cried myself to sleep every night. Our bedroom overlooked the driveway, and I found such comfort looking out the window, when I would wake up in the night, to see that her car was there. I wondered how I would ever sleep after she left. She made mistakes, as did all our children after her, but God was there when I wasn't. I learned a deeper prayer life than ever before, and I saw God do amazing things.

He will be there with Zach too. And all of us "older mothers" will be here for you!

Magnolia Mom said...

Great post. Happy New Year! Love the new blog look!

RealEstateGirl said...

Kat, I laughed out loud at your comment "busy and bright"! That's me---I'm a bold kinda girl! No pastels for me! Bold, bright colors! And, purple happens to be one of my favorite colors.

Not sure if you can tell, but the new header is a magnifying glass... since I'm a "show me" kinda girl!

Thanks everyone for your kind comments. I get all teary reading them. I'm definitely gonna need the support of my bloggy sistas when Zack goes off to school---heck, I need it now!!!

Love y'all!

Sandi @the WhistleStop Cafe said...

Tracey, your words bring tears to my eyes. I have stood in your fuzzy slippers girlfriend. You will do what all of us moms do... We smile and help pack their big boy britches, and our hearts break a little.
Life's about changin, nothing ever stays the same...

Joy said...

Thanks for adding me to your blog. I am still trying to figure out how to do a cute page. Ashlyn didn't know how (that's a first). I'll e-mail the cracker recipe to you; they are good and addictive!


justabeachkat said...

Sure hope I didn't hurt your feelings with the "busy and bright" comment. I just meant it was a short jolt when I first opened it since it's so much bolder and brighter than it was before. I love it though. It's you!


Sheila said...

Tracey I too have this in common with you. Our son will be preparing for college this fall. The first time with my daughter I thought I was going to never stop crying. It started in April and I could hardly talk about it with out tearing up! I don't know how I will be this time. He is my last one. It does get better and they know our hearts are hurting, but proud. Even my husband was emoitional (so be prepared) lol I know how you feel if you need a shoulder to lean on...(smile)

LivingTheLife said...

Oh sweet Mama...I know what you are feeling...I have sent both my daughter and son off just as you and many others will and have done. I am here to say...you DO get through it...they (the child) eventually make it easier...but it is so hard...I can remember waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat (and this was BEFORE menopause) wondering if I had taught them all they should know...if they could make the right decisions without me around as backup...or if they knew what meds to take for a head cold versus a headache...oh...the fear I felt...I think we all go throught this panic before letting go just a little...as Kat said "we must give them wings" and then watch the glorious flight! And it is just that, Tracey...a glorious time to watch!

You and your hubbin have undoubtedly done a beautiful job raising Zack...he will certainly benefit from everything you have taught him...

In the meantime...all of us "old timers" or "been there done thats" are here for you...girl...


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