This very moment...

Just think of stepping on shore, and finding it heaven,
of touching a hand, and finding it God's,
of breathing new air and finding it celestial,
of waking up in glory, and finding it home.

One week ago at this very moment I received a phone call from my mom saying my Dad had just died. The entire way to Georgia the chorus to the song "Finally Home" kept running through my mind. It was sung at Dad's funeral.

This past week has felt like the longest week of my life. Then I imagine Dad in heaven, timeless, with no night. I hope he knows how much I miss him.

3 sweet friends had to say...:

Di-dan said...

Tracey, that is always a powerful song, and much moreso when it applies to someone we love. I remember sitting there Saturday thinking about those words and how we really cannot even imagine all that is there at that moment. It's a very humbling thought. I appreciate you posting those lyrics.

Jodi Lynn said...

Tracey -- I was reading your blog this morning and crying once again. I understand so well everything you're saying. I wanted to tell you - I'm SO glad that you're keeping a journal.

When my dad was in the hospital the week that he died, my mom asked me to please write down everything I could remember about what happened because she was afraid we would forget. I thought she was crazy, because it was such a huge week, that I was sure I would never forget.

Now that I look back on what I've written, there is a lot that I had forgotten about, and I am so glad I have it written down. As horrible as it was, I want to be able to remember what happened that week. Someday you will be glad that you kept up with your journaling. I wish that when my mom died, that I was old enough to have done that then because there is a TON that I can't remember, or blocked out, that I would love to know.

I wish I knew this song you are talking about, I cry just reading the lyrics. Hang in there, sister! xoxoxoxo

puddins said...

Dear sweet Tracey.....

My heart feels so tender toward the little girl in you, that child longing for one more chance to look into her dad's vibrant feel his strong arms around her, arms that protected and were a source of warmth and belonging all of her receive a fully "knowing" smile of loving affirmation.

I'm so thankful that you had such a beautiful and loving relationship with your dad, Tracey. You may not completely understand this statement from me, but I envy the pain and longing you feel for Bob, though it's overwhelming and very uncomfortable for you. Not having felt any love from my own father, I've always wondered what it would feel like to KNOW I was adored by my dad. I have no idea what that might feel like; therefore, rather than feeling a great weight of grief when my father died, I was left with basically a "space" in my life where he had been when alive.

What you're feeling is terribly bitter because of your loss, but oh, so sweet because your grief, pure and all-consuming, is for a man who loved and cherished you, his beloved child.

While my heart hurts for your heart, at the same time I wish I could have had the chance to feel the depths of your pain. The source of that pain is the unconditional love your sweet daddy had for you. God bless that man!

Be assured of our love for you, your mom, your sister and your brothers. You're all so very special to Phil and me.


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