Feeling Blue...

Today was the first day back to school. Zack is taking a 7:00 a.m. class, so he set his own alarm and was up and out the door with little assistance from me. He's even driving his own car to school now, so no more "Mommy" carpool. I'm not sure how that makes me feel. In one respect, I don't feel as needed. There are times when I long for the days of having to help him lay out his clothes, tie his little shoes and pack his bookbag. But then, this is the way it's supposed to be, right? You teach them, you train them, then they fly away on their own. I'm just not ready for him to fly yet. How can a mama bird be so heartless to kick her young out of the nest? Is that heartless or is it true love... I don't know, all I know is that I couldn't do it. My boys (Zack & Gary) are my world and without them around today, I am feeling blue...sad and lonely.

Speaking of feeling blue...where did that saying come from? And how come the color "blue" was the unfortunate one to be associated with sadness? Why don't we say, I'm feeling red today, or purple... oh well, that's another one for things that make you say "hmmmmm..."

9 sweet friends had to say...:

Dianne said...

I hate that you are sad today Tracey! As much as I have struggled in the past with the fact that I don't have kids and have had to work through the fact that motherhood is one thing God wasn't going to bless me with, I do believe there are definite reasons why I haven't been given that gift...One is that I would be FAR too emotional to 'let go' when they got grown and independent, just like you are saying. You have a great relationship with Zack though so I have no doubt that wherever he is or ends up, he will never be far from your 'nest'! It's no doubt that you feel that way about all this though because it was only the two of you for so long. I will be praying for you as you enter this new phase of motherhood, rest assured. Know that I care!

TOM said...

bessy (need I say anything else?)

Cantini #3 said...

That really does make me appreciate today. As I laid out their clothes last night and got their new book bags ready to go. I need to cherish these moments more. Thanks for reminding me. Dianne is right...you and Zack are so close now and will always be. He will always need you!

chrome dome said...

I would much rather have been home with you, hon! I hope you have a better day tomorrow. I love you.

Julie said...

feeling blue -

from the olden days -- when a ship lost its captain at sea they would fly a blue flag or paint a blue streak down the hull of the ship till it returned to port.

So, I think we should paint our faces blue ( or at least wear a lot of blue eye shadow) in honor of our babies growing up.....

I get how you feel, but you did a better job of putting it into words. ( :

Cantini #3 said...

This has been "History Today" with Julie Cook.....

Tracey said...

Well, thanks for the info, Julie. I'm with you---let's get out our frosted blue shadow from the early 80's!

Jennifer said...

Think about this, Tracey. Look at Zach and what an awesome 'kid' he is. He is excelling as drum major. He is obviously very responsible, bright and kind. He is a good kid. I have never met him, but I can tell this by they way you 'gush' about him.

That is because of you and Gary and the impact you have had on him and the example you have been to him. He is showing everyone God's glory. He is a testimony with every step he takes.

What a legacy you have begun in him. To God be the glory!!!

Tracey said...

Wow--thanks for those comments. Every one of them meant so much to me. My friends that know me and have known Zack since he was little, thanks for your kind words, and Jennifer, wow--I really appreciate what you said. Can't wait to actually "meet" you in person! Tomu---bessy--brings back memories! Thanks blogger buddies!

 
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